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on exhaustion

April 12, 2008

Exhaustion fosters insensitivity.

That, I’ve proven so many times. Tonight is no exception and I’m deeply sorry that what happened still happened despite the fact that it has been discussed and fought over many times in the past.

I need to sleep. Even when I get to go home early, which recently, I haven’t been able to do, I still cannot sleep since it’s 34-36 degrees outside. It’s so hot that just going home will give you heatstroke and I’m really prone to that.

I regret that I was hit with this exhaustion while I was at his house last night, and this meant I was not able to think beyond my need to snooze. Because of this, he had to sacrifice his rest time for me. He had to show a face that "everything is ok, my girlfriend will wake up in a few minutes, and we all can finally rest" sort of attitude, even though what he wanted to do was just to shake me awake, and let me know that he wanted to lie down and rest.

It’s heartless that he went to my house and gave me such a loving gesture of what being taken care of means…for me to just throw that away in an insensitive attempt to extend my sleeping hours.

It all boils down to rest. I have to rest.

I’ve been complaining for years and I’m not doing anything about it. Well, it’s about time that I do something about it because if I don’t, I will end up isolating the only person in the world who has the capacity to make me forget how difficult life can be.

Posted by furian at 2:14 pm | permalink | Add comment