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the measure of trust

August 3, 2008

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.
- Frank Crane

I have to admit that there are days when my trust is sorely tested. And in these days, I would normally keep silent and meditate on how it would be if the situation was reversed. What if he mistrusts me? What if behind his tight hugs lurks doubt and uncertainty?

I know that if that is the case, and if there was nothing at all for him to be worried about, it would be difficult for me to convince him otherwise. I would be at a loss on how to make him believe that I’m honest and true and that I love him and only him.

And so, tonight, alone, I think on these things and make a decision. I have given him my heart, my love. I have given him the right to be in my future. I have given him more than I have given anyone in my life. And so, if I will hope, just hope, that our lives will be entwined till we die, then I will have to trust him.

I am saddened that a member of his family is getting to me and poisoning my peace. Because that is what mistrust can do, it will give you unrest. And tonight…as I meditate…I have decided to listen to my heart.

I will trust you. And if somehow, inspite of your love for me, you betray that trust, then you do so knowing that I didn’t push you because of my uncertainty. Because there will be no living with you, no peace at all to be had, if I cannot trust the you who have given me this happiness. I will not see your eyes saddened by disappointment.

I love you. I trust you. I can give nothing greater than that.

 

Posted by furian at 10:31 pm | permalink

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